The most amazingly protective, educated, and fierce Grandmother on the Planet

Over the years I have never had a grandparent question to me why their child had a c-section or any other intervention causing maternal morbidity during a birth.

It is long held tradition that when a new Mom leaves the hospital, she generally leaves with a newborn, sutures in various places on her body, and a story.

The story.

The narrative that is told to her, her partner, her parents, her friends.

Sometimes this story involves the line, “if you had shown up at the hospital just five minutes later, all of you would have DIED!”

These stories are powerful things, handed down from generation to generation as the important truths of the family’s oral tradition.

Susan has been my partner in all things birth since we met at church in 1994.

She spoke at the birth conference  I organized in 2001

Over the past few years she has moved into being a Grandmother and this past week she earned her “Don’t mess with my family” badge of honor while assisting at the birth of her second grandchild.

The Birth story from Grandmas perspective:

“At 40 weeks +4 days Camille started contracting around 1 p.m. We did a pressure points massage and after 2 hours of resting she was still contracting so we figured it was labor. Labor starting this time of day and being past her “due” date was similar to her previous birth but the similarity pretty much stops there, (except both babies were caught by an RN and Grandma,) as Bradon’s labor was longer, she was in the hospital an hour and a half with him, had 2-3 vaginal exams, as well as intermittent monitoring, labored on the hospital floor on sheets and cushion with a birth ball, and used a squat bar during crowning, which was much slower.

We all started scuttling about with final preparations. Around 8:30 she put Bradon down to bed and had started vocalizing with each contraction. (Vocalizing is a technique of making a sound that helps carry you through a contraction that I used during 5 of my own labors.) Brandon comforted her and I applied the hip squeeze technique and counter pressure as she labored in the living room. She had leaned over the birth ball for a short bit at first during contractions, but preferred hands-and-knees while leaning onto the bed with her face down and bum up in the air, which is perfect for counter pressure, massage and hip squeeze. Then after each contraction she would side lie on the bed (that they have in the living room instead of a couch) and pillows and relax until the next one came, when she would get up and turn over for.
.
With her previous birth she was GBS+ so though she wanted to birth at home as long as possible, she also needed to get to the hospital in time to be started on a medicated IV. This time she took probiotics and was GBS -. Therefore, we had no rush to get to the hospital, but we did have the issue of a sleeping, very attached-to-mama toddler to deal with.

With her first birth she went in and was checked and not admitted due to not being dilated to at least 5. We returned home to labor longer and returned at 6 cm dilation. We didn’t want that to happen this time because if we woke up the toddler and she wasn’t far enough along, she’d have to deal with him. Besides, the longer you labor at home the better!! It is more comfortable and the hospital birth clock isn’t ticking.

So the big decision was when to go into the hospital. She had been laboring steadily but contractions were not regular in timing. They were 6, 3, 1, 10 etc. minutes apart. I was looking for tell tale signs and at one point when she got the chills and felt a little naseaus I wondered if that was transition. But she was so relaxed and the contractions didn’t seem very intense, so I wasn’t sure.

At 10:30 I suggested a bath. A few minutes later Bradon woke up and entered the bath with her. She mentioned feeling pressure before entering the bath, which she said the bath felt good. I was wondering if maybe baby was presenting posterior or something. At 11:00 I messaged my midwife friend, Deanna, for support. She sent me info I had never read before about being able to determine dilation by a purple line on the mothers buttocks. The line is supposed to go all the way up the crack if complete dilation. I couldn’t ascertain if there was a purplish line or not.

She again said she felt pressure. I asked if her if she felt “pushy.” She said she thought so but wasn’t sure. I said, “then you should go in.” And we immediately did.

Brandon dropped us off at the front of the hospital. I told Camille to walk up quickly by herself and I got all the bags and followed while Brandon parked the car and brought Bradon. I only left the birth ball behind and said, “I don’t really think she’ll need it, but maybe bring it just in case since she wanted it.” He said he would.

She had a contraction outside of the hospital as she leaned on a post. Then we walked in and I told them, “she’s in labor and she needs a wheelchair.” As we went up 3 flights in the elevator and through the halls she had one or two contractions. She was wheeled into a triage room as a corpsmen, (a Marine nurse, generally a male), followed asking questions. She got out of the wheelchair and stood at the foot of the bed while she began contracting. As she leaned onto the bed I went to stand behind her to apply the hip squeeze that she liked because it alleviated pain. At that moment one of the two corpsmen moved toward us from the left and said, “She needs to get on the bed so we can check her and monitor her” with the expectation of her doing it at that moment. I had my hands on her hips and put up my left arm making a stop sign and extended it firmly in his direction then proceeded to apply pressure as we ignored him and she vocalized. He stood there then exited the room.

(I just had the image of the Supremes singing STOP, in the name of LOVE! pop into my mind – Jen)

Camille said, “Mom, I have to pee really bad, like REALLY bad!” I said, “it’s probably not pee, it’s probably your water going to break.” Then she squatted a little, instinctively, as some water hit the floor. She immediately said, “i need to poop, Mom!” and turned right toward the bathroom. I said, “it’s probably not poop, it’s probably the baby.” She grabbed the rail by the toilet and said, “Check me, mom, and see if that is poop or the baby coming out of me!” I took off her underwear and checked and said, “that’s the baby! **Don’t** get on the toilet, you should get on the bed.”
She did, on her knees with her arms over the back of the bed. I could see the baby’s hair and went out and the corpsmen were in the hall (because this had all been in like 30 seconds or so) and I said, “whatever you are going to do, do it *NOW* because she’s crowning, the baby is coming!” and I walked back in the room.

I went over to her and could see the baby’s head emerging and I put my handout and placed it on his head to catch him. His head was warm and moist and his hair was dark. I could hear them saying, “is she really crowning?!” and making a commotion. I told her, “don’t hold back! it’s ok, let him come!”

I could see her opening and more of his head emerging, then a female nurse entered as she was gloving up and she extended her hand just as his face appeared and his shoulders turned and he dropped into both of our hands.

The nurses were all excited and I said, “she’s fine, the baby’s fine!” One nurse started rubbing the baby very vigorously and I told her he was fine- (I could hear him breathing). She said he needed to cry and sure enough she got him to cry!! Lol. Then they started touching the cord and Camille and I both said not to clamp it. Camille was insistant and I said firmly, “She doesn’t want her cord clamped! She doesn’t want it cut until after the placenta is born!” The nurse said, “ok, I won’t clamp it.” I said, “and don’t pull on the cord either. Let it come on it’s own.” She said, “I’m not pulling, I’m not pulling.”

The on-call doctor had been summonsed but she took about 20 minutes. When she arrived the cord had stopped pulsating and she let Camille hold it to feel for a pulse so she would give permission for it to be cut. The dr. was very calm and nice and answered my questions politely about blood loss volume and the placenta,etc. She showed it to us as she examined it and it looked complete. It come out with a slight manipulation and push from Camille. She said, “you are obviously low intervention so I think we can forgo the pitocin after all since you’ve stopped bleeding and the placenta looks great and everything.”

(I am certain it had detached on its own this time, unlike the last time when the nurse midwife at that hospital pulled on the cord prematurely and wanted the placenta out within minutes of the birth even though she was very hands off during the delivery and left to attend another patient delivering at the same time, and since Camille was laboring so well, she left a nurse to catch Bradon and I was able to have my hands on him then as he emerged, too. The nurse midwife returned to manage 3rd stage and Camille ended up with retained placenta after that birth and got very sick and had to have a D&C.)

The nurse had thought maybe Millie tore but the doctor examined her and said she didn’t. I looked along intently and asked questions and the doctor freely answered my questions. (I’ll take all the learning opportunities I can get!)

Camille gave birth in a triage room without any vaginal checks, no monitoring, no pitocin. The baby was born in one contraction without any pushing. She put him to the breast and he latched on like a champ. After a bit, when things were settled down, she tandem nursed Bradon and the baby (and against hospital recommendation she co-slept with baby through the night.)

When we first arrived at the hospital my son-in-law, Brandon, carried Bradon on his back in a carrier from the car as he also carried the birth ball. He entered the L&D floor and asked the desk about his wife. At that moment the corpsmen had left the room after I put up my hand in a stop sign. He said to Brandon, “Oh, that is your wife in labor? She is in that room and we need to check her and monitor her but that woman in there won’t let us. Can you do something about her?”

Brandon entered the room and put the birth ball down and hearing that the baby was crowning he walked out to tell them to call the doctor and when he walked back in the room the baby had been born and he missed seeing his son enter the world!!! Such a shame since he was in Afghanistan last time and was so eager to see his son born!!

Camille labored so beautifully, it wasn’t overwhelming to her at all until about the last 40 minutes, particularly, in the short car ride (and also it was a bit tough when she had to nurse Bradon to sleep at 8:30 and lie still through contractions in order for him to fall asleep!)
She was up and walking about 2 hours after the birth. It was a beautiful experience and I am so glad and grateful it all went so well and honored her and Brandon let me be a part of it. I pray for a continued smooth recovery.”

As I read this story to my daughter and husband the other night, we were laughing so hard because of Susan’s willingness to stand up to a couple of male Marine Nurses.

So funny.  And yes, so visually perfect.  We should all channel our inner roaring lion when our children and grandchildren’s lives and health are on the line.  Susan has created the new model of the fierce and protective Grandmother, may she be the beginning of a new genre of beings on this planet…

Jenny Hatch

PS Military hospitals are notoriously bad with morbidity rates.  Maternal Morbidity is anything outside of the realm of what would be considered the normal discomforts of childbirth.